Hi Angela.
I don't know that you'll run across a formula for the perfect relationship but a fair amount of leadership literature discusses the importance of understanding different leadership styles for achieving flexibility in different situations and with different personality types. I wrote about this in my latest "Leading From the Library" column that I write for LJ. It is about remarkable, perilous and toxic styles. You can find past columns here - I've written about this topic in other columns. You may also be interested in this upcoming LLAMA webinar on leadership styles and flexibility.